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What is it about diabetic cooking that makes it seem tasteless, bland or really difficult to get right.

I was a partisier chef for a while in the UK and baking was an everyday occurrence to me. You had to cater sometimes for up to 500 people baking different things to perfection but for the life of me I cannot seem to find a good recipe for diabetic treats. Mothers day was a blast, we had a nice barbeque, braai, barby (what ever you call it) and since that special lady in my life is diabetic but loves her treats, I decided to find a recipe on the net and to make her a nice sugar free citrus cake. I followed the recipe step by step using exact measures but what came out was a disaster. Instead of treating her it looked like I wanted to kill her with a 5kg home made brick. Needless to say this went down with a laugh and I now use it as a citrus smelling doorstop but the point is no matter how hard you try you can never seem to get that diabetic treat just right.

Huletts came out with a brilliant product called Sugalite which is a sugar replacement. I have seen it in liquid and granular powder forms and you are supposed to be able to use it in baking and all other cooking methods but it still does not do what I would like it to do.

Maybe it’s just me or the recipes I’m finding are completely s*^%@ but I just can’t seem to get it right. If anyone out there has recipes, please don’t be scared to pass it on to a desperate cooker.

The world would be a better place without illnesses but at least let us try to make things easier for those that suffer from them.

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For adults birthdays are no longer days of parties, games and fun. Birthdays become more subdued.
Change that four you friends and family. Just because you’re getting older is no reason to be dull.

Spice up the birthdays you celebrate. Consider some of the following great party ideas.

1- Like the TV show Survivor, have a survivor party with games and don’t forget the tribal counsel,
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2- Host a game night, dig up all those games you loved as kids and invite your favorite friends over
to play them again.

3- Casino Night! Make sure to send your guests a poker chip that can be cashed in for a stack of
Chips to play some casino favorites.

4- Live in a large neighborhood or near a wooded area? Hide a prize and create clues and send your
Guests on a treasure hunt.

5- Host a murder mystery nights. Kits for such a night are available at various retailers. After your guests have submitted an RSVP, send them information on the character they will portray and ask that they
Dress in character.

6- Have a magic night. Challenge guest to bring their best trick with them/ Be sure to offer a prize for the
Best trick by popular vote.

7- People attend wine tasting all the time, mix it up. Try a beer tasting party with beers from micro
breweries and imported beers. Don’t forget the pretzels (and designated drivers).

8- Pick an era in time and have guest dress for the time. Find games, music and decoration to match
your selected area of time.

9- Character night. Have guests dress as their favorite character from movies and television. Image
Celebrating with Captain Jack Sparrow and Spiderman!

10- Use your imagination; try to incorporate your guest of honor’s hobbies into the theme of your party.

Lastly, most adults are capable of picking out their clothes but give them something they may not buy for themselves. See the best selection of adult shirts anywhere.

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Solving life problems - ThroughSence of humour
Life some time seem to be complicated, but in reality critical reflection on things that surround it and us can make it simple, it is beautiful and nice , sometime the difficulties in it really make especially with triumph over them make everything to be like fun – just the like of the bittersweet struggle with go through in a sport complex- We are all survivalist ,everyone know where the shoes pains it is imperative for us not to be so worried about what I'm doing, or what we look like, but to just let ourselves go once in awhile. We should and don’t dabble into doing anything crazy, when I personally remember the shortness of life, I seize feeling lost that or pains that comes my ways. We should thank our start for being alive everyday and feel this with a lot hope, truly when there is life there hope, I have seen miracle happens in life and dream come true- we must remember we are winners and we can all do it – once and we are determine to.

Life is tough, and most of the time we spend our days wondering why things go the way, we don’t need to waste too wastes any time difficult issue, move onto next things change direction with goal to make things and the better. We have very shor time in this planet and we should take as precious time, not waste a damn of it, By attempting to figure out why life goes the way it does, we lose time when we could use to have fun, and make our life better.

Everything has its season , we must choose prority right and do the right thing at the right time.W e should give priority to opportunity, sometime the only knocks at the door once, and if we don't answer it at that particular moment, then you'll never get another chance. Again we are here for a short amount of time. An average of 70-100 years seems long, but it goes faster then we realize. It's so incredibly important to live every day to its fullest potential. When we are 5n we last years and lying on your death bed, do we want to look back and think of things that we wished we had done?

I don't know about you but I want to look back and remember all the times when I let myself go, and had fun. I want to remember the times when I actually let myself be open to try new things, and open the door to wonderful opportunities.Life is only wonderful if you leave yourself open to be part of it. And with humour you can actually make things better towards riht direction , but don`t forget humaour comes with perceiverance, patirnce ,prayer and or course knowledge and understanding .Think about it.

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By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, Copyright May 2008

Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.

*The following story is incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.

“[Life] Amazing! Isn’t it?...”

- Volunteering for Extra Pay -

I was always pretty “open-minded” about extra pay. What the Hell, I got’ta work anyway, right? Why not get a little extra, for just a little extra misery.

One time I volunteered for Experimental Pay that involved me doing a cold-weather mission “while wearing a core body temperature data collection device.”

The data was needed to engineer better anti-exposure gear for missions where hypothermia was a real danger; and also to design nutritionally sound, cold-weather MRE’s (meals, ready to eat) individualized to the size and activity of each operator.

In reality, the “…while wearing a core body temperature data collection device” was the official way of saying that I and my whole team were doing our jobs in a very cold region WITH RECTAL THERMOMETERS FIRMLY LODGED UP OUR BUTTS AND ANCHORED THERE BY AN INFLATABLE BULB AT THE END OF EACH PROBE!

Needless to say, it was a hassle to take a dump – and rather painful if you forgot to deflate the bulb!

Another time, when the military was designing new ejection seat trainers for their jet pilots, I volunteered for ejection seat training duty. In the old days, the trainers used live charges instead of pneumatic propulsion and hydraulic breaks. I “shrunk” a centimeter or two (because of spinal disc compression), but later regained my full, manly height of 5’ 5” a few months later.

One more Extra-Pay Duty story?

O.K.

A study was ordered to measure the effects of full body armor (Kevlar) in the event of emergency egress from a downed helicopter. I got first dibs on this assignment because…well, mainly because no one else volunteered!

That should’ve been a sign.

Anyway, I strapped into the 9D5 NAWSTP (Naval Aviation Water Survival Training Program) helicopter emergency multi-egress/crash simulator.

The simulator resembles a giant oil drum. The inside “cabin” is about the size of the cabin of a troop transport helo. It is suspended above a small, training tank (pool) by thick, steel cables. When the operator/engineer is prompted, he releases tension on the supporting cables and the device slams into the water (just like a real helo would during an emergency crash landing into the ocean). Then, as all top-heavy helicopters do, the device begins to turn upside down.

I knew/taught all the correct egress procedures.

I remained strapped into the seat. I took a nice, long breath before the water level reached my mouth and nose. I kept a little internal air pressure in my nose to keep the water from filling up my sinuses.

(It’s always amusing to me how a huge Marine can morph into a panicky, little baby when confronted with an underwater emergency - simulated or not. The disorientation and water up the nose causes many rough and tumble, macho, overly muscled Marines to panic, unbuckle too early, and get trapped in the trainer.

I think the only other thing that produces more sheer terror in these finely tuned, mindless killing machines [translated: first-wave, canon fodder] is the sight of an immunization needle.

I sh*t you not! I’ve had many a monster Marine pass out when I waved a needle and syringe in front of him!

It’s hilarious and not really a problem.

My only concern is that the big boy doesn’t hurt himself with his fall to the ground, slump into the chair, or the instant, involuntary prone position on the gurney. After a nice chuckle, I just inject the passed out Marine with the originally prescribed medication, break an ammonium nitrate ampule under his nose, and tell the now awake killer that the brain surgery/castration/rectal exam is over and done with - no problem.)

Back to the helo crash simulation.

Inverted, I waited for all violent motion to stop. I took a handhold of the seat beside me and reached for my buckle. It was stuck/jammed. No worries. I’d taught this to my survival students and done this procedure thousands of times. I hit the locking mechanism with my fist, making sure it was fully locked down; then tried to open the buckle again. It opened. Cool.

But the normal smooth, underwater weightlessness I’d experienced in the past was replaced with a vicious surge to the surface. Like a bug on a car’s windshield, I was plastered on the upside down deck of the simulator.

“Imagine That.” Kevlar floats!

The body armor was so buoyant that I was stuck, upside down on the deck of the 9D5. Even worse, the rest of the gear I had on was getting snagged on everything in my egress path. Cargo hooks, helo frame, and seats proved to be just one more thing to disentangle myself from before I could leave the simulator.

I’m not sure how long I’d been holding my breath. Activity and emotional state can severely cut your breath holding time.

Outside the trainer, the safety diver, a buddy of mine, motioned the “need assistance” signal.

I smiled and waived him off.

Finally, I said “f*ck it,” grabbed my HEEDs (helicopter emergency egress device – a small SCUBA bottle the size of a large café-latte at Starbucks), purged the mini-regulator of water, and took a breath of compressed air.

This was always a last resort because ascent to the surface and breathing had to be controlled afterwards. On a breath hold, one could rule out the dangers of DCS (decompression sickness) and AGE (arterial gas embolism - the more serious condition when a bubble travels through the blood vessels and lodges in some rather inconvenient places; namely the heart or brain).

Oh well, it was going to be a longer day than I expected.

Without the immediate need for air, I methodically doffed the Kevlar vest, and hooked it around my arm. I looked at my buddy and waived my middle finger at the Kevlar vest.

My buddy took out his regulator, smiled, and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Then he simulated poking himself in the ass with it. The meaning was obvious: F*ck me! I’m never wearing Kevlar in a helicopter flying over the water!

And neither will I.

- A Bad Day at work -

Back to the situation at hand: “Big Army Parachute, Not-So-Big Man.”

I knew it was going to be a bad day when the archaic body harness of the big parachute and opening shock made me feel like I was being split in half - from the crotch up!

After beating on my numbed legs, I immediately checked my canopy and saw the next hint of my bad day.

Reflexively, I said out loud, “Imagine That” (my personal “bleeding down” catch-phrase).

For those of you who haven’t been indoctrinated into the wonderful world of hazardous duty, let me cue you in. Almost all operators have a “bleeding down or releasing pressure,” personal catch-phrase they say to themselves to instantly calm down.

These catch-phrases serve a vital purpose. They put you into a mindset that’s conducive to survival, especially when you’re “having a bad day at work.”

Catch-phrases will:

1.Delete damaging/time-consuming emotions from your current scenario.

2. Help you mentally step out of a hazardous/time-sensitive situation to facilitate quick – often life-saving - decisions objectively (as an observer, not a participant).

3.Relax you (even make you laugh) as you marvel at the absurdity of life!

Again, I said, “Imagine That.”

Above my head, instead of a heavenly full, round canopy, I saw what resembled a huge, used condom! Either a line-over or static electricity was preventing air from inflating my chute.

I was oscillating wildly.

All my attempts to inflate the main chute proved unsuccessful. I spread the main shoulder risers – nothing. I did a pull-up and climbed up on one riser and let go – hoping that the popping, spring action of my bodyweight would let some air enter the canopy. No joy. I looked for the usual 4-line release system (a way of controlling/steering a parachute by releasing four lines at the rear of the canopy), but then remembered that this was an old army chute with no such capabilities.

I pondered whether I should try and find the possible line-over and start cutting lines (one by one) with my hooked shroud line cutter.

By experience, I could “feel” that I had not regained terminal velocity (about 147 mph)…yet. It was probably because of the minor friction caused by the “Used Rubber” flailing above me. Physicists will tell you that one square yard will decrease your free-fall momentum by up to 20 per cent.

But a quick glance at the on-rushing ground (perception of ground color begins around the 10,000 to 12,000 foot ceiling) and verification with my wrist altimeter told me that I really didn’t have much time for playing Sherlock Holmes/Brain Surgeon with any offending shroud lines.

Damn, I hate it when this happens…

[Continued in “Imagine That…(3) - Medical Turf Wars and Angels of Mercy Revisited.”]

Your friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo
Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com

Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay, Kevlar, hypothermia, experimental, hashish, line-over.

Other articles by the author:

“Imagine That…(1) - The Asian Angel of Mercy and Assassins.”

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path, articles (1) – (7).” (This is an ongoing series of articles that focus on self-improvement, success, and happiness).

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ series, articles (1) – (23).” (This is another ongoing series of articles about love, romance, Asian/Western relationships, relationship analysis, and more.)

“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”

“Remember Who You Are!”

“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”

“Simple (and Priceless) Life Lessons from the Most Influential Prosperity Mentor in My Life - My Father”

And much more!

(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)

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I had a preminision today after I dropped my parents off at the airport. This preminision told me to purchase LOTS of legal note pads and pens and altoids which I thought I would need tonight!! Your preminision of Indian food is amazing!! When I lived in the DC area for 11 or 12 years, I can't remember, as you know there is an amazing blend of cultures in the northern VA area.(god i miss VA sssoooo much, it realy captured my hear). Okay i am talking in circles which is a bad sign. anyhow, i had so very very close indian friends that when i was invited for dinner at their house my ass would show up three hours early just to smell the curry! However, I seem to gorge myself anytime I have indian food and as a result my stomach does not agree with this method of gorging.  and there is no way possible i am going to POOP in your bathroom for our first gathering. so I will have to travel to home or the nearest gas station!!!!

 

 

 

Speaking of VA. My places of solitute and the seaking of peace from the very fast pass the the DC metro area.  Great falls. VA side for humor watching those domb ass kiackers studding their egos trying their best to battle the waters. I always found it so humorious when they tipped over and tried to get back up.  Great falls Maraland side. The sound of the waters flowing thru the rocks. Such a beautiful site and sound. Last place of solitude, Shannondoah national parks.  Loved stopping my car and just looking into the beautiful valley that was so quite and still especially during the fall to see the most incredible colors...but the traffic was a bitch during the fall season... I love you, I love you, I love you...Please write me so I don't feel this is a one-person date. 

 

 

 

 

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Most of us shy away from talking about ourselves. When someone says “ Tell us about yourself” don’t we all get rather flustered? This is the end result of a lifelong of conditioning, where parents have taught us not to “blow one’s trumpet”, not to boast, not to talk too much about oneself…

This is a common enough question at any interview, and your answer carries a lot of weight. So, if you are one of those who blush, stutter or stammer when asked this question, read on…

Dealing with the question…
Remember, the person who asks you the question, probably has your CV right there in front of him.
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As he rushed out of the door of his office, he glanced at his watch, “Only 5 minutes late!” he thought to himself. “Drive a little faster and I should make it on time, no sweat!” as he unlocked the door to his car and got inside. He cranked the restored Nova’s engine over and it fired to life, the comforting sound of the big V8 under the hood making him feel a little more confident.

As he was pulling out of the parking lot and on to the main road, he saw drops of rain spattering on the windshield. “Well this might slow this a little but no big deal!” He smiled to himself in anticipation of the night. For some reason, the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland popped into his head… “I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date” kept repeating over and over.

It seems as though the closer he got to the restaurant, the harder it started to rain. It was soon a deluge and he had to flick his wipers on high just to keep up with the downpour. Fortunately, he could still see the cars in front of him and traffic was still moving, all be it moving slowly. “God!” He thought. “If I miss this, she is never going to do this again!” He looked at his watch once again, “Quarter till seven! Dammit! I’m gonna be late! I had better call her to make sure she’ll wait!” He pulled his cell phone off of the little clip on his belt and noticed it was turned off. When he tried to turn it back on, a small picture of a battery with a circle and a slash running through it appeared. “Out of juice? I could swear I just charged that!” It was then he heard a most disquieting sound.

From the rear of the car, just under the sound of the mufflers, he heard a tell-tale “SSSsssSSSsssSSS” like air escaping from a… TIRE! “No!” He thought! “Not Now! I’m late! I’m late!” as the rear end of the car started to wobble back and forth in time with the volume of the hissing sound. Pulling off to the side of the road, he thought to himself “Man, I’ve had it… Left late, can’t call her, flat tire - what next?”

You would think by now that man would have learned to NEVER to ask that question…

Flipping on the emergency flashers he opened the door and got out of the car. The passing cars threw water and road grime up at him as he made his way to the trunk. Once there, he turned the corner of the car and felt a sinking feeling… literally and his foot sank into 4 inches of mud. Pulling his foot out of the mud “he thought to himself, “I don’t believe this…” and his shoe slid easily off his foot, still stuck in the mud. Holding one foot off the ground now, he bent over to pull his shoe out of the mud and he lost his balance and stuck his foot and sock firmly in the mud right next to his shoe.

“What is my problem tonight?” he thought pulling his now muddied foot out of the mud. “I’m late! I’m late...” He retrieved his shoe from the mud and stripped off his sock, throwing it onto the trunk lid. He now put the wet foot inside his muddied shoe and hoped that the worst was behind him.

Standing at the side of the car now he reached over and unlocked the trunk. He then retrieved the jack and tire iron from their designated hiding places. Setting the jack under the bumper, he cranked the car up slightly. He then squatted in front of the tire and began loosening the lug nuts. One down… Two down… three and four went without incident but when he tried number 5, it wouldn’t budge. Leaning on it, pulling on it, nothing was working. He decided to try one more time (like he had a choice), put the lug wrench on it and got on his knees to lift with all his might! Then he realized that he had now laid both knees in a strip of mud that was exposed on the road side of the car.

Cursing slightly, he figured, “Well, it’s too late now!” And he gave the lug wrench a mighty lift and felt the log nut squeal in protest as it slowly started to move. Finally, it was off! “Yes!” He thought, “Now we’re getting somewhere!” as he got up to finish jacking the car up. He put his left hand on top of the jack and inserted the tire iron with his right hand into the jack. He started pumping the jack and the car started its upward climb.

As he was pumping, be it the rain or not paying attention, he didn’t notice the wrench was coming loose until with what seemed like amazing speed, the tire iron slipped out of the jack and the back of his hand smacked him square in the eye. Seeing stars in one eye can be a somewhat disorienting at times, but on the side of the road, at night, in the rain, it was DEFINITELY not a good thing. “I’m late! I’m late...”

He froze, afraid to move without his eyesight – the best he could manage was to try and rub it clear with his free hand. Once the stars cleared, he stuck the tire iron back in the jack and restarted pumping. It wasn’t long before the car was up and the old tire off. Reaching inside the trunk, he found the replacement tire he would have to use and pulled it out for inspection. It was hard to see anything in detail but he knew that the tire was one of the old tires that used to be on the car before it was restored - narrower and smaller than the tire he had just taken off. “This is going to look funky but it will have to do.” There it is again… “I’m late! I’m late...”

He slid the new tire in place and started screwing the nuts in place one by one. With all hand tightened, he walked behind the car and “squish” went the other shoe... This time he could feel the water seeping inside it. He gently dislodged it from the mud (managing to keep it on his foot this time) and started lowering the car onto the new tire.

After lowering the car for what seemed like a very long time, he finally felt the jack get easier. Dislodging it, he threw the jack into the trunk – the time for formalities was gone now - and walked to the tire to tighten the lugs only to see the reason it had taken so long. The tire was half flat, at least. With no other alternative, he tightened the nuts one at a time, all the time praying the tire would last long enough to get him there. His prayers were interrupted when the wrench slipped off one of the nuts and his knuckles hit the pavement.

“God bless…” he said out loud as put his knuckle in his mouth to try to stop the bleeding before it started. Realizing this wasn’t going to work, he reached into the trunk and got the only rag he could find… and old greasy red shop rag that had obviously seem it’s better days. Wrapping around his now throbbing hand, he finished tightening the lug and THREW the wrench into the trunk. “That’s it!” He thought, “That’s the last thing that’s going to happen! I am going to MAKE this thing WORK tonight NO MATTER WHAT!!”

Slamming the trunk lid closed, he started around the car to get in. That’s when he felt the tug and heard the muffled tearing sound his wet trench coat made as it started too spilt up the back. “AAARRRG!” He screamed as he finally lost it. Grabbing his now stuck, ripped trench coat as close to the trunk as possible, he put one foot on the bumper and gave a might tug!

You ever had one of those moments in life when things begin to happen in such quick succession that you experience every detail because it seems to be going in slow motion? Well, this was one of his. As he gave his coat a mighty yank, his other foot (the one with the sock) slid out from under him and started to slide under the back bumper of the car. He tried to brace his fall with his right hand (the rag hand), but being in slow motion the way he was, he only got it half way into position. This way it would slide out from under him, scrape up his palm and encrust the rag in mud.

This WAS one of those times however, that all those stretching exercises came in handy! His left foot (sockless) remained on the bumper and basically forced him to do a single leg deep knee bend. Pushing his knee up against his chest as high as it would as if he was taken one HUGH step up. Problem was, when he finally stopped flat on his back half under the car, he felt the rear seam of he pants rip slightly up the back.

Dislodging his foot from the bumper, all he could do was lay there for a moment and stare into the rain falling into his face. Then he starting laughing, “This is too much!” He thought. “If you don’t want me to get there, just give me a sign, don’t torture me!”

Slowly he got himself out from under the car and started to fish his keys out of his pocket to open the trunk and get his trench coat out. Just about the time he got his keys out, the end of his trench coat slid out from under the trunk lid like it had a mind of its own. He stood there and shook his head, chuckling to himself.

He walked up the side of the car and opened the door to get in. Just then, a tractor trailer came full bore down the road not 5 feet away, drenching him (again) and the inside of his car. “Well” he thought, “that should get some of the mud off me!” He climbed inside his car, closed the door and, first wiping some of the grime off of it, looked at his watch. “DAMN! I’m almost an hour late!” He jammed the key into the ignition and turned it to start the car. He hadn’t noticed that the emergency blinkers weren’t blinking anymore.

As he turned the key, a low groan followed by a clicking sound greeted him. “I’m late! I’m late...”

“NO!” Turning the key off, he tried it again. Just the clicking sound… All kinds of thoughts started racing through his mind. Call a taxi? No… Phone’s dead. Hitch a ride? In the dark on the side of a major street… no. not a good idea. Flag down a cop? Like they are ever around when ya need em… Hmmm…

He decided to wait a couple minutes and try it again, spending the time trying to get some of the accumulated grime off of himself. A small puddle was developing around him in his seat and on the floor beneath him … Given any other time, this would probably have really upset him, but tonight his dream girl was waiting and if he didn’t get there soon, he was sure she was going to leave! “I’m late! I’m late...” the rabbit whispered in his ear.

He took a deep breath and turned the key… the engine turned over very slowly then spit and stuttered to life! “Finally! Something worked FOR me! He thought as he put the car in gear. He managed to merge himself back on the road and found himself at the restaurant in less than five minutes. “Hell, If I had known it was THAT close I would have walked!” he thought as he got out of the car. He also noticed that it had stopped raining.

Starting to walk toward the restaurant, he felt the now familiar tug of his overcoat trying to keep him near the car. He turned and looked and this time discovered that he had closed it in the door. “Fine!” He yelled. “You wanna stay with the car so bad? You got it!” He then took the overcoat off and threw it down where he stood.

Crossing the street and walking into the place proved uneventful, a change from the beginning of his evening, but he decided to stop in the alcove to TRY to make himself somewhat presentable just in case she hadn’t left him in the lurch.

When he opened the inside doors, he spotted her immediately. Blue eyes, auburn hair to the shoulders and red lipstick to match the form fitting red dress she was wearing. She stepped forward and said to the man at the door “I think that belongs to Me.” and she smiled at her date.

She took his hand and pulled him aside and helped in wiping off some of the dirt.

“You’re Late…” She said “Have a bad day?”

“You have no idea…” bowing his head feeling a bit ashamed “I was wondering if you had left.”

“Never. You said you’d be here, I knew you would.” putting a couple of fingers under his chin, she lifted his head and looking directly into his eyes, she said “Happy first wedding anniversary darling!” and kissed him full on the lips.

He felt warmth inside him that could only be one thing… Love. He kissed her back, being careful not to pass any of his grime on to her red dress.

“Let’s go eat… I’m starving!” She said as she took his hand again and turned to walk to the matre’d.

He tugged at her hand playfully and asked “Are you sure you want to be seen with me looking like this?” She stands and looks at him for a moment. Then, before he can stop her, she pulls him to her and grabs him in a full body hug, even nuzzling her face in his neck. He hears her chuckling as he half-heartedly tries to pull away. A moment later, she releases him and wipes the grim from her face.

“That better?” Everyplace that his body touched hers there was a wet spot with a little caked on mud for good measure.

“I guess that’ll do!” and they both laughed as they turned back to the matre’d.

“Reservation for Downey!” He says.

The Matre’d scowls at them, looking them up and down, and then looks their name up in the book. “I’m sorry sir; you’re over an hour late for your reservation. I’m afraid we’ve given your table away.” And turns to other business.

He was ready for this though! He reaches around to his back pocket to get a little “incentive” for better service. Its then that he discovers that the ripping sound he felt from the back of his pants was not, in fact, the seam of his pants - but his wallet pocket. Apparently his wallet felt the need to reserve his spot on the side of the freeway lest some one else come along and try to park there aside from him.

Seeing her husbands discomfort and obvious embarrassment (once again), she opens her clutch and pulls out a $20 bill. Placing one hand on the arm of the stuffy guy and placing the bill in his hand with the other she whispered something in his ear. He looks at her husband and with a smirk on his face, proclaims “Right this way!”

The Matre’d then went into the dining room.

“Madam” with a flourish, the husband waves his wife in before him and he follows, last in line.

He didn’t notice the step up into the dining area until his next slow motion event of the evening. His toe (the one with the sock) hit the short step and he tumbled forward. This time he did manage to grab the first this he saw in a vain attempt to try and steady himself.

It was red and kind of stretchy...

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Gilgamesh quest for imortality end up to discovery the purpose of life-
In Babylonian legend, king of Uruk, is the hero of the Gilgamesh epic, It tells of the adventures of the warlike and imperious Gilgamesh and his friend Enkidu. When Enkidu suddenly sickened and died, Gilgamesh became obsessed by a fear of death. His ancestor Ut-napishtim (who with his wife had been the only survivor of a great flood) told him of a plant that gave eternal life. After obtaining the plant, however, Gilgamesh left it unguarded and a serpent carried it off. The hero then turned to the ghost of Enkidu for consoling knowledge of the afterlife, only to be told by his friend that a gloomy future awaited the dead.
Gilgamesh started a journey to discover the cure for death ,he must be a curious person-- it sound mythy thus, he went through hurdles, he fought monsters, he risk his life , but after he got the plant just a mere sleep took immortality from him , then he has to come back home empty handed, lucky he was loved for what he has done , he has built great during his reign and he could finally claimed that he actually got immortality because his name is written in plata of gold in the front of the city for leading challenge to build great civilization among is people. Also, he was a bully in his earlier life but he finally became a good person, example of this lies how he met Enkindu who does not even have 1 single cloth - but Enkindu has wisdom and the sixth sense to see beyond, and this is what raised him - But since nobody knows tomorrow, is better to be good all the time .

What we are going to learn in the story of Gilgamesh?
The stories of Gilgamesh tell us about a triad of human experience:
(1) Our relationship with ourself , ourprophet and God
(2) Our relationships with each other and "Self";
(3) And our relationship with the natural world and the other species that inhabit it. The first category is the house of cosmogony, theology, death, and destiny.

The second, the reside of agriculture, culture, humanities and science, civilization, technology, and genuine warfare. Then there is the planet earth, our environment and stories of homo sapiens living on the land and sea. The categories overlap, evident in seminal essays like "The Land Ethic" where Aldo Leopold suggests that the law of ethics, the evolution of human rights, will be extended to include the land itself and all species that inhabit it.
Mythology of State/ Mythology of Self: a common theme in mythology which underscores the tension between the individual and what the individual desires (private agendas) and the individual and the obligations to the group in which he or she lives (public agendas). Ultimately in most stories the outcome demonstrates how heroes come to understand the necessity of community and thus come to see themselves more clearly as interdependent members of a particular group or society.
Triumh and Tragedy: the twin pillars at the Lion's Gate of Western Thought. Triumph is the genre of the romance/ adventure where the hero overcomes all obstacles; it is the story of unlimited possibility regardless of the agony one faces. In Homer, Odysseus epitomizes the hero who gets it all. On the other hand, Tragedy is about limits to human freedom. Tragedy teaches the consequences of excess. However tragedy as a genre can still be a celebration of life as in the end of the Oresteia.
Someone once said that our secrets are all the same. While I believe in universals among humans, the notion seems difficult to realize in a world of such diversity. In truth, perhaps the best of all of us do share a common hope: to be at peace with the world, to come to terms with the failings of love and the ramifications of hate, to shed the strategies of division that systematically teach us to think narrowly. I believe that mythology often includes a bewildering story of a hero's capacity to do good, to be a living creature with soul and reason--regardless of the agony of life. In this, a great many of the mythic voices are consistent even in the matter of details.
1. The individual in the world, particularly in relationship to others and to the natural world.
Begin with the assumption that storytelling is vital to human health. In History , our relationship to the world at large has been, in part, the story of ethics and humanity, the actualization of equality and peace through narrative art. The central theme of Gilgamesh begins with a simple question: Gilgamesh is portrayed in the prologue as an oppressor or tyrant. What happens to this view of him as the story progresses?

Other themes are worthy of in-depth discussion. Heroes are people who know secret things. Plato's allegory of the cave characterizes the place of the hero within the world. Are heroes ever to be pitied?
2. The limits of creative imagination and human possibility. Gilgamesh pushes the boundaries of known human experience.
3. The significance of history
4. The quest for peace.
5. The role of wilderness in shaping human identity and consciousness
6. Nature and culture: the coming of Enkidu
7. The hero's journey: Joseph Campbell's The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1949) delineates the stages of the heroic quest--the call to adventure, the aid of mentors, the crossing of thresholds, the trials and tribulations, the supreme ordeal, the road back, and the revitalization of the community.

Enjoy the poem of his journey:
The one who saw all [Sha nagba imuru ]I will declare to the world,
The one who knew all I will tell about
He saw the great Mystery, he knew the Hidden:
He recovered the knowledge of all the times before the Flood.
He journeyed beyond the distant, he journeyed beyond exhaustion,
And then carved his story on stone.
The skies roared with thunder and the earth heaved,
Then came darkness and a stillness like death.
Lightening smashed the ground and fires blazed out;
Death flooded from the skies.
When the heat died and the fires went out,
The plains had turned to ash.

Father, let me have the Bull of Heaven
To kill Gilgamesh and his city.
For if you do not grant me the Bull of Heaven,
I will pull down the Gates of Hell itself,
Crush the doorposts and flatten the door,
And I will let the dead leave
And let the dead roam the earth
And they shall eat the living. The dead will overwhelm all the living!
The house where the dead dwell in total darkness,
Where they drink dirt and eat stone,
Where they wear feathers like birds,
Where no light ever invades their everlasting darkness,
Where the door and the lock of Hell is coated with thick dust.
When I entered the House of Dust,
On every side the crowns of kings were heaped,
On every side the voices of the kings who wore those crowns,
Who now only served food to the gods Anu and Enlil,
Candy, meat, and water poured from skins.
I saw sitting in this House of Dust a priest and a servant,
I also saw a priest of purification and a priest of ecstasy,
I saw all the priests of the great gods.
There sat Etana and Sumukan,
There sat Ereshkigal, the queen of Hell,
Beletseri, the scribe of Hell, sitting before her.
Beletseri held a tablet and read it to Ereshkigal.
She slowly raised her head when she noticed me
She pointed at me:
"Who has sent this man?"
The gods shook like beaten dogs, hiding in the far corners of heaven,
Ishtar screamed and wailed:
"The days of old have turned to stone:
We have decided evil things in our Assembly!
Why did we decide those evil things in our Assembly?
Why did we decide to destroy our people?
We have only just now created our beloved humans;
We now destroy them in the sea!"
All the gods wept and wailed along with her,
All the gods sat trembling, and wept.
I [Utnapishtim] released a dove from the boat,
It flew off, but circled around and returned,
For it could find no perch.
I then released a swallow from the boat,
It flew off, but circled around and returned,
For it could find no perch.
I then released a raven from the boat,
It flew off, and the waters had receded:
It eats, it scratches the ground, but it does not circle around and return.
I then sent out all the living things in every direction and sacrificed a sheep on that very spot.
At one time Utnapishtim was mortal.
At this time let him be a god and immortal;
Let him live in the far away at the source of all the rivers.
O woe! What do I do now, where do I go now?
Death has devoured my body,
Death dwells in my body,
Wherever I go, wherever I look, there stands Death!
For whom have I labored? For whom have I journeyed?
For whom have I suffered?
I have gained absolutely nothing for myself,
I have only profited the snake, the ground lion!

When Gilgamesh returns to Uruk, he is empty-handed but reconciled at last to his mortality. He knows that he can’t live forever but that humankind will. Now he sees that the city he had repudiated in his grief and terror is a magnificent, enduring achievement—the closest thing to immortality to which a mortal can aspire. The story tell us that life is about doing good, when we do good , we will remain alive forever, Analyzing leaders that have done good and comparing them with tyrant show that they weekend are easy to forget , that also that human actually goodness .
The story also shows that - Life is a journey toward wisdom (experience + knowledge /goodness + love) to building community and raises a good generation, not toward death. After we die, we will surely go somewhere where we shall account for these things - the reality of this lie in the short sheep we have every night, and of course the seasonal color change of the plants every year- the fact that we remember good people forever show that we are made in the name of goodness, and goodness is immortality -.
Thus, Gilgamesh set out on journey and quest to seize the fruit of immortality- life is sweet and he really want to enjoy it forever , he risked everything , he was determined , he got there -but no, matter what he cant come back with the precious fruit of immortality -- but he end discovering nothing but the purpose of our existence and living --- wisdom and goodwill-- the importance attached to this to build develop great society and raise good kids or protégée that will make a good generation .

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1.) Windows Vista



This speaks for itself. Windows Vista is like having unprotected sexual relations with a bimbo. Someone who looks absolutely radiant and sexy, but has the intelligence and functionality of an exceptionally backwards squirrel, potentially carries STDS, and always assumes to be smarter than you.

Vista makes sure to tell you about every single change it makes in the system with flashy annoying pop-ups, refuses to accommodate past 3 GB ram, has a slow and clunky file browsing, has the unique ability to crash on demand, randomly lets bizarre error messages that only tells you to click okay pop up, is still an entry portal for a load of nasty viruses, and many more idiotic things that will make you want to hurl your PC through a Microsoft officer's window.

2.) Getting stuck in traffic on the one day you can't be late.

It takes a special brand of will power to contain this kind of frustration, especially if you're behind a ten-wheeler truck filled with coconuts and a little old lady in a beat up car driving at 25 mph in a four lane road with heavy incoming traffic.

The truck is frustrating but you dare not honk at it to speed up because it is much bigger and can kill you either by slamming into you or raining coconuts on your windshield. Getting stuck behind the old lady is frustrating because she's an old lady, and vexing her by calling her slow is about as appropriate as kicking a puppy.

Next time you're doing something important, always remember the law of pessimists everywhere “If something can go wrong, it will.” Thanks Murphy.

3.) Not remembering someone's name, especially if it's already at the tip of your tongue (Then remembering it an hour after the person has left )

How many times are we guilty of this? If I had a dime for every person whose name I forgot, I'd... have a lot of dimes. Yeah. Seriously, anyone who remembers everyone by name either has to have a hyper enlarged frontal lobe or is Professor Xavier. You can remember their faces, the colors of their shirts when you first met them, the way they talked, but you cannot remember their name.

When this happens, you have no choice but to cover up for your pathetic memory with your hopefully superior charming skills, and hope that he/she doesn't see through you and your fakery. Make up to it by excessively saying his/her name next time you meet, making it clear that you are deeply aware of his identity.

4.) Being second best

The world never had much time for the second best. Sometimes, second best is worse than not having placed at all. People will always be obsessed with the idea that they could've been the best if only they fixed this, exerted effort on that, slept with this or generally did a little more than they did. It's that haunting, maddening possibility of the things that could have been. Every loser of any championship of any sport or game experiences this. Nothing brings about regret and self-blame like being in second best.

5.) The word “Nothing”

Guys all over the world angst over this little word that never means what it really means. Every person, woman or man has, at one point of his/her life, had wished that the opposite gender came with an instruction manual. Either that or wished that the opposite gender is something that an instruction manual can encapsulate completely. How we often wished that God was kind enough to inscribe the laws governing gender psychology in an ancient tome made of stone when he made man and woman, but as it is, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and no amount of clichés can ever add up to the things we still don't know about the other gender. That last sentence just about captures the entirety of the clarity of each gender's understanding of each other, which is to say, as clear as mud.

Guys know that nothing usually means they screwed up in some way and they have to find out what exactly by themselves. Women know that “nothing” said by a guy means exactly what it means, therefore there must be something else he isn't saying. We can't have evolved that much, if the human race has been in existence for thousands of years and still don't know the answer to nothing.

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Happiness

We must develop a pleasant personality and for that purpose we shall have to remain happy. There are difficulties and problems in the world and we are hit by such difficulties and problems and most of the events are carrying us towards un-happiness and displeasure. But still we shall have to bear all these difficulties and problems with a smiling face.
Some difficulties and problems are our own creation, but at times we meet such problems and difficulties without any fault lying on our part. We are human being and we are prone to all such difficulties. When we read lives of great men, we come to the conclusion that all those had been facing difficulties. We can have a look on the life of shri Ram Chandraji, Lord Krishnaji, Guru Arjan Dev ji, life of Christ and we see that though they have been taken as Avtaras, they too had to suffer and they had been bearing all those sufferings and difficulties and they never complain to God. We too should have a lesson from the lives of these great people and we too must bear all these difficulties and sufferings and even then we should remain happy.
We must know that others around us also feel pleasure to meet us when we are giving them pleasure and happiness and if we are telling our own stories of difficulties and troubles to them, they too shall feel sorry and they would avoid meeting us. When others want a pleasant personality, we must develop a pleasant personality and if we do practice, we shall attain such a personality. Man must bear all the difficulties and even then he must be having a pleasing face and when we meet others, we should keep our worries concealed and we should talk to them with pleasing face.
Life is sum up of happiness and therefore, we should remain happy and if there are difficulties and problems, we should be sure that all these difficulties and problems shall be no more within the next few days because when we are passing through bad days, good days are knocking at the door and those shall be with us within the next moment.
So we should develop a habit of having a pleasant personality and we must try to remain happy when we are talking and dealing with another person. That person should get a good impression from us and he too should start with this habit. We may share our pleasant moments with others, but we should not share our bad moments with others, because they shall not be happy and they shall start avoiding us.
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Human is love by God and do we love him back BY OLADOKUN SULAIMAN
Human is love by God and do we love him back

life is perfected only when pendulum of life /love is maintained in two Human is created out of honour , from vast number of creatures that exist, human is the choosen one , delegated to manage this planet, to represent the most merciful creator you can ever imagine- the case of relationship beptween mand and God is unique exemple of problem oflove to day - do we appeciate the gift offered to us out of love , do we offer offer love by doing the right things and makingthe right choice. If you problem with relationship or marriage or with with loves one, why don`t you check yourself if you have actualling swing back the pendulum of life . Reasons why God love human : 1- HE CREATED YOU- if he did not love you HE would have made another sperm out of two billion sperm to fertilize the egg to bring a human being other than you, on top of that he offer you privilege to be called by name and not by number. 2- HE HAS CREATED IN THE BEST SHAPE-There is no doubt that we human are made with the best feature and the best model. 3- HE SELECTED YOU ABOVE ALL CREATURE- HE loves, honor, prefer and select human above many of HIS creature in his universe. 4- HE MADE YOU HIS AMBASADOR- HE loves human so much and selected human as His representative of this planet, just the way countries select heir best citizen to represent them in other countries. Ambassadors are always proud of such mission and they do their best to represent their countries with the higher degree of HONESTY, INTEGRITY and PERFORMANCE. 5- HE ENTRUSTED YOU WITH THEMISSION –HE offer you an unimpossible ,best mission to the planet , the mission of maintaining this planet – the mountains the land, the ocean – it is credit indeed , it is also a big responsibility . 6- HE ASKED YOU DELIVER HIS MESSAGE – HE wants you learn from everything that surround you and share what we gain to maintain, justice, goodwill among people. 7- HE SELECTD YOU TO BE HIS WITNESS- HE gave the ever great gift of choice in this mission and offer you conscience that will be witness , if you abuse the gift or used it wisely . 8- HE REWADS THE BEST –HE inspire us to do the work, rewards, and forgive- HE helped us to invent, to find out solution to life problems. There no one in the universe who can treat us likes this except HIM. Despite the fact that we have limited power, look what we have done to ourselves under evils of racism , religious bigotry, color blindness, hatred, slavery , colonialism, imperialism , status quo. HE is truly merciful, and HIS guidance has continued to function with promotion of happiness. He loves so much, my question is do we actually love HIM back. This neverthelessa apply to relationship between ourselves.

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Learn from my mistake..

I was filming in the outback on a Sheep Station capturing film segments for istock. My favorite footage at the time was of Cockies (farmers) going about their business. This particular day the Owner/Operator of a friend of a friend’s farm, Dave and his brother, Jeff, had set aside half an hour to immunise Dave wife’s new cats prior to letting them wander about on the farm They thought it would make interesting footage for me, although I couldn’t see under what circumstances I could possibly use it.

Not wanting to appear ungrateful I set up my equipment on the expansive verandah of the house while Jeff went to round up the young cats. Dave explained to me that to medicate a cat in any circumstances you use an old boot which you lace them up in. Everything on a farm is brutal, logical and efficient. Being an animal lover I was not sure about this whole thing, but I kidded myself that for the purity of a filming experience that I should just go with the flow. Also I didn’t want to offend Dave and Jeff their thoughtful idea.

Dave said ‘I’m going to shove the cat into this boot, do up the laces and that way the little bugger won’t bite me. Jeff’s goner hold him while I give him his needle. Don’t worry he’ll be a bit angry for a spell, but a saucer of milk and Bob’s your Uncle and Fanny’s your Aunty, he’ll be as good as new before he’s finished drinking.’

At this point Dave’s wife, Lizzy pops her head out the back door wiping her hands on her apron. She says “Darl, I really don’t think that Amanda is going to find this very interesting.” Dave assures her that I am totally psyched about the imminent inoculations. I smile encouragingly but secretly I agree with Liz.

Jeff returns with the young cats and gives me one to hold. I lock off the tripod, check my shot for action, press record and regrettably hang on to the second puss. Dave expertly and with huge callused hands shoves the angry cat into the old boot. He quickly laces it up so that its annoyed head and neck are sticking out but its legs are all safely tucked away. He hands the cat over to Jeff who gently holds the cat’s mouth closed and turns a tuft of neck towards Dave who is filling the syringe. The cat is extremely annoyed and is making a noise like a, well, like an annoyed cat stuck in a smelly boot. It is also squirming wildly. Dave appears unconcerned and I am sure he is, as this is a farmer’s life and just one of the things that farmers do with the closest vet having to be flown in by helicopter. Jeff who is smiling happily at me, bless his cotton socks, just now realizes that his fly is down. Not wanting to appear, tackle out, on film, he lets one hand go on the cat to rectify his situation.

The cat feeling the release of pressure takes advantage of the situation and squirms his way out of the boot only to get tangled up in the laces. Unfortunately instinct took over for me, I dropped the cat I was holding and spring to Jeff’s assistance to re-secure the cat. The bugger of a thing, whipped around at the speed of light and sunk it’s teeny tiny sharp teeth into my hand. The pain was like a million little hot needles being instantly stabbed into the delicate skin on the back of my hand. Jeff struggling with his fly and the laces of the boot is not much help.

Dave drops the syringe he is now brandishing and grabs hold of the cat’s head which he starts to squeeze with his incredibly large hands, in a bid to loosen its viper grip on me. I can feel myself starring in horror, as the cat all of a sudden goes limp. But take heart reader that is not the end of this story.

Farmers are practical people and don’t let a little thing like death faze them. When lambs are born and not breathing, they will routinely revive them with CPR, I kid you not! Jeff helpfully reminds Dave of that fact and says ‘Lizzy will not be impressed if you kill one of her cats.’ Dave proceeds to do the strangest and yet most practical thing I have ever seen. He gives the cat a couple of breaths (while Jeff provides encouragement like ‘Dave you’re not getting a good seal, open your mouth wider’ and ‘don’t slip it the tongue Davo! ha-ha). Dave then gives the cat a jolly good squeeze around its rib cage with both hands and it amazingly starts to breathe. I am by this stage dripping blood from half a dozen puncture wounds and beginning to wonder when my last tetanus shot was. The fly screen door bangs open and Lizzy pops her rotund figure through the door wiping flour off her hands.

‘Darl, everything ok?’ Everybody freezes. Dave puts the cat down on the verandah and it weaves drunkenly in small circles. Lizzy takes one look at the cat says ‘Poor little bugger” and asks if I’d like lemonade. She would appear to be none the wiser for the near death experience. I nod my head struck dumb as Dave and Jeff appear to be holding their breath. Lizzy smiles and nods and goes back into the house. As the fly screen bangs closed everyone simultaneously exhales. The cat, who has been slowly regaining coordination, drunkenly falls off the verandah and hits the dirt with a bit of a thud. We all rushed to the rail and looking down watch him shakily get to his feet and wander over to the saucer of milk which he drains.

We all look at each other, like stunned mullets and with the most typical and sincere face Jeff says “Well F..K me”

My tip, my golden rule, my ultimate hint for special, special event videoing. Check your camera is recording before you participate in medicating a cat or you too could miss what would have been the YouTube of the century!!

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Into the Sun

It was in the year 1998 when Burger King launched an advertisement in US Today to announce the introduction of a brand new addition to their menu: "Left-Handed Whopper". It was specially designed for the 32 millions of left-handed Americans. Burger King said that the “Left-Handed Whopper” was made up of the same ingredients as the original Whopper such as lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc., but the only point of distinction was that all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees to benefit their left-handed customers. According to the advertisement it was all about the special customer care for a special day – the April Fool's day. A follow-up release was issued the next day revealing that the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax. But the most interesting fact was that Burger King was barraged by a huge volume of orders for the 'right-handed version' of whopper.

Lorraine Thomson, Marketing Director of Burger King UK said, “Everyone knows that it takes two hands to hold a Whopper, not one.” She said that it was an April Fool's Day joke – a simple approach to put bright curves on people's faces. After all, they are in the business of serving delicious food and all they wanted to do was make it really fun. There's no better way for Burger King to gather all their customers together and celebrate the April Fool's Day together. It was also a unique way to remind people that left handed guys might often have difficulties doing certain things that right handed people could take for granted.
April Fool's Day is a day to make fun and that spirit of fun is usually at it's peak that day. Quipping April Fool's Day jokes and playing pranks on your friends and coworkers are what the celebration is all about. The spirit of fun is at the full swing when you know that you get to play pranks and jokes on people and just get away with it. But what is important to remember is that you should put together a good assortment of safe and funny April Fool's pranks to pull on your friends and acquaintances. Practical jokes have often proved to be really flop and have often pulled down the spirit of April Fool's fun, although some really safe practical jokes still works perfectly. Just make sure it is safe, fun filled and harmless.
You can put lemon juice in your friend's water and when he would take drinks of it, his face will surely make other guys around him roll with laughter. You can superglue some coins to the sidewalk that has a lot of people walking around and watch people trying to pick up the coins. Playing practical April Fool’s pranks on friends like these may be really hilarious as long as they are not harming and hurting others. Let your jokes add spice to their April Fool's day celebration. The goal should be to bring smiles to people's faces; not tears in their eyes.

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Born in Vancouver, British Columbia, Seth Rogen has quickly risen to popularity with his leading roles in movies such as Knocked Up and Superbad. However, where did he come from? And, more so than that, how does the son of two “radical Jewish socialists” as Rogen puts it, get to become one of these very famous actors?

It all started when he was thirteen years old. Known for driving his parents and teachers absolutely crazy with his attempts at humor, he signed up for a comedy class in his home town. Immediately, Rogen took to it and quickly began to work on his own material. After a very short amount of time, he began to appear in a lot of well known Vancouver comedy clubs such as Lafflines, Punchlines, and others. Finally, after three years of stand up, he decided that he was going to venture to America to make a career in stand-up. Rogen had won second place in the Vancouver Amateur Comedy Contest at sixteen and that gave him the confidence to venture below the border.

For most of us, though, he is well known for his acting. His first on-screen experience came at the age of eleven when he was in a few commercials. However, for most actors, it is the big screen that they aspire for and Rogen had those hopes as well. After auditioning only once, he landed a role on the hit TV series, “Freaks and Geeks.” It was produced by Judd Apatow who he would later befriend and work alongside in many future projects.

“Freaks and Geeks” was cancelled in the middle of the first season and Apatow started a second television series, “Undeclared.” He cast Rogen in a similar role as he had played in “Freaks and Geeks” and this went on for an entire season, but was cancelled before the second season. Fortunately for Rogen, it was in this television series that he received his first major writing gig. Before he was hired to act, he was one of the writers for the show where he wrote an entire episode by himself and co-authored four others.

His first big screen appearance was in 2001 when he had a minor role in Donnie Darko, a Jake Gyllenhaal movie. In 2005, he appeared in the hit movie, 40 Year Old Virgin which was Apatow’s directorial-debut. This movie was an incredible success and it helped to land him in the lead role in the ‘accidental pregnancy’ movie, Knocked Up. Here he played a lazy web-entrepreneur who, after a late night at the club, goes home with a woman. The result? You guessed it…A baby. Starting in September, Rogen is also set to appear in Judd Apatow's next directorial effort (working title "Funny People") with Adam Sandler, Eric Bana, Jason Schwartzman, Leslie Mann and Jonah Hill.

However, what happens when a typical comedic character gets his chance at something a little more daring? You get the Green Hornet. Known for being on the heavy side, Rogen will have to bulk up if he is going to fit into the trench coat of this superhero. More importantly, Rogen and his long-time writing partner, Even Goldberg, are tasked with writing the movie for the Green Hornet. So, with Rogen playing the lead character and the two writing the screen-play, some argue that the character of Britt Reid might not be what he should be. Or, more so, what he can do, with all the bulking up necessary.

Rogen’s response? “You should believe that I can do some physical activity. You have to believe I can do something.” Can he though? Can the man who has, for most of his life, done stand-up comedy jump into a more serious role? Can he really be action potential? He argues that, yes, he can. He has all the intentions to bulk up for the role. There are two very talented writers working on the screen-play. But, when it comes to a director, Rogen is not so committed. He wants to find someone who will bring something fresh to the table.

All in all, Rogen went from doing some small time stand-up comedy in Vancouver to landing lead roles in two television series and then in some of the 21st century’s greatest comedies. From commercials, to stand-up, to television, to Knocked Up, Seth Rogen now has his eyes set on playing the green fedora wearing Green Hornet. Let’s see if he can do it.

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Getting used to sustainable system design - the case of ship and ocean 2

6.2 Policies and procedures build-up - collision preventions and control -Although ships may spend 90 – 98 percent of their operational lives underway at sea speed in deep water, it is during the mandatory beginning and end of every voyage when the risk of collisions, and groundings are highest. Ensuring the ability to maintain complete and positive control of a ship’s movement during these segments of a voyage is absolutely vital if that risk of navigation safety and protection of the marine environment is to be reduced. According to INTERTANKO’s 1996 Port and putting bigger and bigger ships (and more of them) into the same old channel:

· The design limit for trim by the stern for a tanker is 0.015L in accordance with Regulation 13 of MARPOL 73/78, Annex I. This information, which is based on tests conducted in deepwater, includes a turning circle diagram as well as tables showing time and distance to stop the vessel from full and half-speed.

· IMO Resolution A601 (15), which was adopted in 1987, contains recommendations for ensuring maneuvering information is available on board ship.

· The 1995 Seafarers’ Training, Certification and Watch keeping Code, Section A-VIII/2 part 3-1, and article 49 require the master and pilot to “exchange information regarding navigation procedures, local conditions and the ship’s characteristics.”

· A Marine Board study assessed the use of numerical simulation technology to train mariners and concluded that while modeling accuracy is sufficient for deep-water operations; modeling requires refinement to provide the accuracy needed for shallow and restricted water operations.

6.3 Ship design policy build-up -In 1971, IMO adopted Resolution A.209 (VII) establishing recommendations regarding posting maneuvering 9 Regulation II-1/29.3.2 of SOLAS requires rudder movement from 35 degree on either side to 30o on the other to occur in 28 seconds or less.

IMO approved circular MSC/Circ.389 in 1985 establish interim guidelines for estimating the maneuverability -Rudder size and effectiveness, Ability to transit at slow forward speed, Propulsion and propeller characteristics, Number of available engine reversals, Adequate horsepower for control, Extra reserve rudder angle needed to allow for ship crabbing from wind forces or moored ship suction, Visibility from bridge and bridge arrangement, Hull form squat (trim and sink age) characteristics and effect of bank forces on moorings and passing ships, Air draft, Emergency anchoring ability, Amount of tow line leads and line access.

7.0 Current Ship design practice

Existing design tools cannot, at least with any degree of reliability, be used to design a vessel and ensure it will ensure environmental reliability and adequate maneuverability in shallow or restricted waters neither can it be use to satisfy demand need by clean ships . In part this is because of the extreme on-linearity of hull and propulsion characteristics under these conditions. In general, naval architects and marine engineers are educated and equipped with knowledge, skills, and design processes that permit continuous checking and balancing of constraints and design tradeoffs of vessel capabilities as the design progresses.

The intended result of the process is the best design given the basic requirements of speed, payload, and endurance nor where the waste is going. Focus is not placed on how the channels and waterways are designed. Perhaps even more importantly, there is a general lack of understanding of the operational scenario regarding piloting of vessels in constrained waterways. Only recently has there been a real attempt to fully integrate human operational practices with vessel design. The involvement of human beings onboard vessels both extends and restricts the inherent vessel maneuvering capabilities vastly complicating the necessary methodology for assuring safe and efficient operations. Taking waste issue and restricted waterway maneuverability as an important part of ship design spiral would seem a necessary step to enabling proper tradeoffs in vessel design. The reality is that maneuverability and pollution protection is still not an important consideration in ship design of many merchant ships. The result is that design decisions that can compromise environment and collision are decided in favor of other factors. Only with consideration of the full range of ship and channel design and human factors relationships affecting maneuverability will we be able to produce an efficient and safe environmental friendly marine transportation system. Now that the new issue of environment is around, then we have to squeeze in more stuff in the spiral.

 

Table 1 – parameters s demand and impact

Environmental parameters

Environmental Demand

Impact areas

Ship design,

Need for longer safe life cycle

New limit definition, Correct material selection, Material technology, Quality control of safety and environment

Construction

High worker safety standards, Low energy input

Improved hull hydrodynamic,

Emission

Minimum pollution and emission, Minimum Sox, Nox and green house gas-Zero discharge

Advance Close loop process on board,Waste recycling equipment, Improve training

Scrapping

Zero harmful emission

Beneficial disposal

Operations waste,

Efficient maneuverability

Improve maneuverability

Energy

Maximum fuel efficiency

Engine design, use of alternative energy

Antifouling

Harmless

Biocide free technology

Ballast water

Zero biological invasion or transfer of alien species

Segregated ballast tanks, Improved ballast water tank design, Ballast water treatment, Ballast water data base

Sea mammal

Interaction

Maneuverability capability

Safer ship structure design, Improve maneuvering capability, Navigation AID, misinformation, Exchange, Reeducation

Accident

Able officer, Ship structure, Integrity

New monitoring through port sate control

Fire

Harmless

Halon phase out

Wave wash of High speed

Marine craft

Zero inundation and spray ashore

Moderation of hydrodynamic force

8.0 Mitigation

8.1 Shipboard and waste emission outline –treatment and elimination - Pollution Prevention (P2) or Pollution Control-this is backbone of the thrust in achieving clean ship. Pollution Prevention Use fewer environmentally harmful substances and generate less waste on board. Pollution Control: Increase treatment, processing, or destruction of wastes on board.

The basic P2 principles follow:

Eliminating the use of environmentally harmful chemicals, such as ozone-depleting substance (ODSs), toxic antifoulant hull coatings, and other hazardous materials, may be the best approach for some potential problems.

Fig.2-Treatment and emission

Reducing the amount of waste we generate on board is often better that treating it on board: for example, reducing the amount of plastics and other packaging materials taken aboard may simplify solid and plastics-waste management? Similarly, reducing the volume of liquid wastes generated (such as graywater) may simplify onboard liquid-waste treatment.

1. For the wastes and hazardous materials that cannot be prevented, we must develop pollution-control strategies and technologies.

Other technical mitigation measures are:

 

Antifouling

• Toxic approach uses other metals such copper and zinc, or agrochemicals e.g. triazines


• Fouling release approach use physical properties of low surface energy coating cause the very weak attachment of fouling organisms. E.g. silicone based coating


• Fouling deterrence –marine organism not know for fouling like corals are use


• Mobile hull cleaning is also being use operationally

 

Ballast water discharge

• On board treatment – chemical (chlorination), physical treatment (Ultra violet light, heat treatment), filtration and cyclonic separation, shore base treatment is sometime being used but not common.


• Operational mitigation based on information of biological difference between coastal ocean water where ballast and ballasting is done accordingly.

Air emission

• Sulfur reduction in bunker fuel


• Nitrogen reduction to choice of propulsion system


• On board Cataleptics system like charlatanic converter, water injection, emulsion


• Operationally sped reduction and use of shore power connection has been implemented

8.2 Ship collision control and prevention outlines- Most accident are attributed to a flagrant controllability problem and the remain the classic impetus necessary to make improvements to safety and environmental protection, and we e need to do more to ensure adequate vessel maneuverability perhaps better matching of vessel, channel, and operational practices.

Ship maneuverability as major iterative element of design spiral-ship maneuverability is not considered particularly important during the design process, because Owners generally do not include maneuverability requirements as part of the design specification; Firm deep- and shallow/restricted-water maneuvering standards that can be applied during the design process should be established.

Modeling and simulation -Collection of data using dual frequency DGPS receivers and proper analysis needs to be supported to enable unlocking our understanding of restricted water operations.

9.0 Environmental technology

9.1 Recent development coalition control work -Environmental technology also become hot as issue of environment start burning, this might be a start of another evolution, as environmental technology product will start selling good.

9.1 Recent environmental performance

1. 1 Ozone safe substances- 200-Ton Air-Conditioning Plant Conversion Kit -The CG-47and DDG-51 plants have been successfully converted to the ozone-friendly refrigerant HFC-236fa conversion kit has been established by NSWCCD.

 

1. Solid waste - Solid-Waste Pulpers -The pulper (especially the large pulper) is the machine into which you dump tremendous quantities of paper, cardboard, or food waste. The waste mixes with seawater to form slurry, which is then discharged overboard. Studies show an immediate 100,000-to-1 dilution when discharged into the wake of a ship. Ships equipped with a pulper can dispose of their paper, cardboard, and food waste just about anywhere and at anytime—at sea including MARPOL areas.

 

1. Liquid waste - OWS and Bilge water Polishers: Many bilge cleaners the Navy uses today contain long-lasting emulsifying agents, which produce stable oil-in-water emulsions that shipboard OWSs cannot effectively process.

1. Shipboard Wastes and Emissions

To improve the reliability of sanitary waste system sewage transfer-pump suction and discharge gauges, naval research laboratory the ring-gauge isolator is adopting, Thermal Destruction and integrated liquid discharge system, the later is a concept where ultra filtration membrane systems would concentrate bilgewater, graywater, and sewage (as previously described); the clean effluents would be discharged; and the concentrates would be evaporated/incinerated in a thermal-destruction system.

9.2 Recent development coalition control work - A number of promising developments that exist today are:

1. Kutsuro Kijima showed a modeling approach that permitted analysis of passing situations that would help set procedural standards for safe passing.

2. IanDand reported on the development of models for ships squat that have shown very good accuracy over the years.

3. Larry Daggett described the advent of dual frequency DGPS receivers and their role in gathering full-scale ship trial data. In addition to the excellent horizontal accuracy of the normal DGPS receiver, these receivers provide vertical location with an accuracy measured in centimeters.

10.0 The future

There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain of success than to take a lead in the introduction of a new order of things because the innovation has for enemies all those have done well under the old conditions and lukewarm defenders in those who may do well under new.

Machiavelli, the prince

Recent Safety and Environmental Strategic focus on developing metrics to measure and evaluate progress. The key issues and actions are incorporated in the clean ship concept. Ships owner and operators must understand the need to include wastes stream management in mission requirement in the design stages, with the goal of ships being in compliance. Ship designer must pursue technologies to reduce or eliminate waste streams. The metrics use to monitor progress towards achieving environmentally sound ships will focus on shipboard pollution control equipment installations, specifically the planned versus actual installations. Each waste stream or environmental pollutant, equipment installations, the percentage of total installations completed versus the planned percentage, will be used as a measure of progress for that waste stream. For waste streams and contaminants for which no equipment has been approved or anticipated, the metric will born many R&D for necessary findings . We must take a lead in effectively integrating pollution prevention and safety into the design and life cycle of our ships, systems, ordnance into the execution of our processes, and into the operation. Managing the whole process is another thing; environmental management can be optimizing by incorporating the following concept in our system:

 

1. Goal based , risk based and holistic design approach


2. Total cost minimization concept,


3. Innovative safety and environmental strategy management and integration,

Planning for uncertainty and risk, R(P1c) = R(E1) x W(E1,P1) + R(E2) x W(E2,P1) + R(E4) x W(E4,P1)

Where: R= rating, E= environmental factor, P= Policy factor

1. Probabilistic and stochastic validation


2. Education and training

 

11.0 Working better by working together

Amazingly, it seem that everything is need to be integrated in order for the world to function, this sounds ironical, even thus the environment has naturally integrated everything, the same apply to maritime on issue of safety and marine environmental impact control and protection, it is important to for the main players in design (pilots, regulators, channel designers, simulator experts and ship operators),and all concerned to share experience Regarding differences in rules and among regulators, about rules that are taken too light , sensitivity of area, degrees of hazard for various ship types ,Naval architects and ship handlers alike should take the importance of importance green house and green ship issue and (and difficulty) of the passing maneuver unrestricted waters .

Environmental issue has become so sensitive because it is more or less of evidence that nature has exercise enough patience, impact has reach flash point and those who are knowledgeable about the behavior of matter and environment could sense potential of contagious chain of reaction that can lead to heavy calamity destruction and lost. Treating the issue equally required hybridizations of all the methodology we have been using- objectives and subjective, reactive and proactive, and of course newly holistic institutionalized method that compare and consider trend analysis of every elements of what we are dealing with.

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Men spend a lot of time with them, grooming them for cockpit fights. They rule the roads in rural areas. Everyone wants it this way, to make them ten times tastier than Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes, chicken is an integral part of Malaysian life and idioms as well.


The first unofficial rule to learning Malay language idioms is, don't be levelheaded. A mother hen pecking around with a brood of tiny fluffy chicks is often used to symbolized motherly love. However in Malaysia, a "mother hen" when applied to a woman means she is a madam in charge of a brothel. Similarly, "father chicken" is a pimp. A man who doesn't work as a pimp can still be considered as the "father chicken " if he doesn't bother to take care of his children. So be careful, parenthood related to chicken is gross insult.


Next, you might like to learn to tease. Has anyone ever say to you he wishes to buy you a drink... but you know he does not mean it? We Malaysians call this "chicken invitation". This is probably due to another proverb " the warmth of chicken dung" which cools off quickly, referring to short-lived enthusiasm. Therefore "chicken invitation" even if the intention is genuine, lasts as long as "the warmth of the chicken dung", which is about five minutes.


"Chicken feet" is barefoot, a common sight in the rural areas ; also used to pull the legs of people who forget to put on their footwear. A chicken seems to scrawl on soil while looking for morsels. Of course no humans can decipher their writings. Hence, "chicken scrawl" is hardly legible, illegible or ugly. Hopefully your handwriting is not on a par with the chicken's. I better tell you when a Malay offers you "chicken scrawl", he is serving a delicious traditional Malay snack which has nothing to do with the idiom of the same name. "Chicken blindness" mimics the inability of chickens to see at dusk, also known as "night blindness", is a disease that has find its way into the collection of Malay idioms does not necessarily imply the person concerned is becoming blind. Mostly, it is to tease people who cannot see well at night such as drivers who should use eyeglasses.

The Malay speaking world must be so fascinated by cockfighting sport that a macho, daring guy is a kind of black speckled "gamecock". Don't start reasoning to yourself that a male chicken's instinctive urge to make rivals of all males of the same species is not equivalent to courage. Remember the first rule. Sometimes, gamecocks are tied to mooring posts reminiscent of gladiator fights. As the owner uses his best fowl in this instance so a "tied-up chicken" is the key player in sport matches, especially football, where he is expected to contribute towards victory. In English, "chicken" is hardly a hero but in Malay it is. Strange and true.


The second unofficial rule in learning Malay idioms is to accept its volatility. "Decoy chicken" was used to picture a human playing the same role. It seems this chicken is eaten up by a tiger that enters the trap and disappears from the list of Malay idioms. Not only "decoy chicken", many other "idioms" have either changed their meanings or quietly went missing in action.


Regardless of the consistently inconsistency of Malaysia's idioms, many of them inspired by the ubiquitous chicken will stay on, bwak!

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Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers The

Money, Money Everywhere

Have your thought about all of the different ways that you can make money? There are different ways to get people to visit your website. Now I am referring to those that will purchase your products.

Use all of those resources out there that are available to you. Don’t just look at the obvious. When it comes to advertising, we thing of banner ads, PPC, Adsense, and then there are links, and so on. Wait, there is more out there!

Here are the top three places that you need to place focus on:

Use Article Directories:

Now you may be thinking how can these help me? When you write your article you include your website link. That is just a small part though.
Most directories allow you to do a bit of advertising in your article. One must work this into the passage. One thing to remember is that many times this link needs to be below the fold.
The views of these directories are outstanding.

Here is a list of the top ones:
Ezines
Articles Base
Go Articles
Squidoo
Group.yahoo.com

Social Media Groups:

These groups are a great way to meet a wide variety of people. You can narrow down and accept or reject a certain person. During conversation, postings, and blogs, you may also advertise. The larger your group grow and the more views, the greater your exposure.

Here is a list of the top ones:
Facebook
Twitter
MySpace
Flickr
YouTube
Digg.com
Technorati.com
Del.icio.us
Stumbleupon.com
Fark.com
Furl.net


Blogging:

Write articles and include links. Many will allow you to do a small amount of advertising. This type of exposure is fantastic! Blogging is a way of life now.

Here is a list of the top Blogging sites:
Hubpages
Wordpress
Digg
Squidoo
Blogspot
Blogger.com

Author:
Sandi Baker
http://letusgetitdone.info

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May 1st is celebrated as International Labor Day all over the world. This day especially belongs to the ‘working man’ in the most traditional sense. This year it falls on Thursday.
Labor Day Cards are famous all over with people gifting one another, particularly their colleagues and business associates. Preparing for the celebrations of this day could begin with hunting for the right Labor Day Cards from the various stores in your near vicinity. Interesting images of Labor Day parades, holiday wishes, fascinating quotes on hard work and efficient services etc are generally found on the most preferred Labor Day Cards.

Other appealing options that are depicted on labor day cards are images illustrating ‘you deserve a break’, ‘you ought to relax on this day’, ‘have a chilled out Labor Day’ and ‘Happy Holiday on this Labor Day’. While one aspect of this celebrated day could be the holiday feature, the other characteristic of the same is that it could be treated as that special day when you could say thanks to your colleagues and business mates, superiors and subordinates at work and also tell them how much their support means to you. Yes! Labor Day is the perfect occasion to do this and the various cards available in the market will help you in speaking out your emotions and feelings.

Labor Day e greetings offer a wide selection of cards to be sent out on this day. The Labor Day e greetings are the best alternatives to be sent to your business associates located far away, as they mirror your thoughts precisely but beautifully. These greetings can be even sent to your friends and family members who you know have worked really hard and deserve to party harder! 2008 Labor Day e greeting cards are the newest additions to the collection of Labor Day Cards. Select your pick from the extensive range and send to your friends/ acquaintances/ colleagues… now.

Free Labour Day cards are available online in a widespread collection. These cards are available for free and are ready to be sent to the particular addresses, just at the click of the mouse. Not only can you put in words and phrases to the already existing ones, you could also add color to the text in these cards…

Labor Day Cards are available in several genres. A few of them have been mentioned below for your perusal:

Labor Day Cards At Work: These cards are ideal to be given to your office mates and colleagues with whom you spend the entire day and with whom you are partner to all triumphs and tribulations and failures…

Belated Labor Day Cards: Select a few pieces of cards in this genre and keep them handy just incase you might forget to wish someone on Labor Day!

Invitations: Invitations on Labor Day parties can be sent out through the Labor Day invitation cards… go select your particular pick and send across to all the invitees…

Labor Day Birthday and Anniversary: These cards are especially for people who share their birthday/ anniversary on May 1. Wish them all the luck with a novel range of cards especially designed to greet people on both the occasions on the same day.

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